I Wish I Were Mr. Chen | A Vision of Earth Made in China

I wish I were Mr. Chen, the Chinese trader I met the other day.  He provides products, well of course Made in China. Show him your item, and tomorrow or the day after he’ll bring you the same one. He can copy your shampoo, soap, towels, mops, fridge, and vacuum, everything made in Germany, Japan or Korea. He can bring you a stone, yes a stone! Show him one and he’ll copy it for you. He can even clone you. Yes. In this blog I will use the word clone.

I wish I were him, and the first thing that I will clone is the Earth and I will call it Earth Made in China (EMC). Of course, we can modify the product according to our specifications. In EMC, there will be no tanks, bombs and guns – never will I clone these items. Since there will be no guns in EMC, I will clone deer which runs slowly so huntsmen can catch them manually. I will clone a super electromagnetic knife. It is specialized knife that stays only in the kitchen. Once you plan to take it outside, it will be pulled in the kitchen automatically. Yes, the kitchen will be specialized as well and will have gravity that can pull all knives at home so all of the knives will stay in the kitchen- only.

I will clone Soldiers, lots of them. They will be ultra powerful Martial Arts Soldiers. These soldiers will be skilled with martial arts and karate and they can move like Ninja. They will wear Ninja Uniform and people will only see their eyes, their Asian Eyes. They will be called The Punishers. Anyone who will commit crime will be punished by them.  If a President or a Senator will be caught throwing candy wrapper on the street, the Punisher will break his/her arm. In EMC, if you have a broken arm, it means you were punished and it will be your life long embarrassment. It means you are a criminal. It means you have done something wrong like throwing your garbage on the river, or making a baby cry. Those are Punishable Crimes.  The Punishers will fear no evil. Whether President, middle class man or a slave; the punishment will be the same.

I will clone food. Millions of it. So no one will kill for food, and no one will die because there’s no food.

I will clone a dictionary, and it will be called The Modern EMC Dictionary. In this dictionary, I will erase the words war, hunger, racism and corruption.

Earth Made in China is not a perfect world. It is a semi perfect one. There will still be crimes, but it will be under control because of the Punishers. Crime rate will be at least 1%. Most of the crimes will be as mentioned : throwing garbage, making a baby cry, gossiping about your neighbors or laughing out loud because of your neighbor’s bad hairstyle.

If I were Mr. Chen, I will start thinking about all of this.

 Thanks wordpress for this Weekly Writing Challenge : I Wish I Were.

Sorry for the murder of the word clone.

I don’t mean to offend anyone with this blog.

Mailing Miguel

This is my first attempt to join this Weekly Writing Challenge and I really find this theme (Mail It In) a very interesting one.

I drafted a mail which goes out to Miguel (Miggy) the vocalist of my favorite local band (Chicosci) back home but in a format that I usually use in the office. Please note that this is for the fun and the challenge only. Don’t mean to harm anyone 🙂 I’m just a fan.

Here it goes:

From:     Alissa

Sent:       Mon, 17 Sep, 2012 at 12:09

To:           ‘ Miggy ‘

Dear Miggy,

Greetings from the Cactus Fields!

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself as your number one fan representing the desert.

The desert is a wide area of land which grows cactus and other rare plants. This is also where all the camels dwell as they can well adapt with the climate. This is also a place where your kind of music is rare and is difficult to find.

I have been here for few years now, and I have visited several bars with live bands. I am really disappointed as I have not heard any of them that have ever tried to do a cover of any of your songs and I do believe that it is such a pity because your songs are of good musical quality with very strong and intellectual lyrics that gives an inspiration and challenge to all the listeners.

It is a great challenge for me to face not to see you perform live on stage, but I can’t help but to stay here and just watch your latest videos and live performances on youtube.com, the only way for me to witness your energetic and ever entertaining performance. I am also glad that your latest single “Stealing Kisses” is now out on itunes, I can say I am at least updated. I followed you on twitter, reading all your sometimes sarcastic tweets and I am looking forward for you to retweet me as well in the near future.

I have been seeing all your gig updates and photos on your band’s facebook page and I am glad to see each and every update. Please extend my deepest gratitude to the admin of your page for a job well done.

I would like to inform you that I have been a great fan for the last 8 to 10 years. Apologies for the confusion on the exact date, but all that I can remember is that one of my classmates introduced your band to me when I was still in college, and you have been a part of my life ever since.

I am also pleased to see your different hair colors and styles and please don’t get me wrong. You always remind me, and I feel that you are the Gerard Way of our country and that is a compliment.

I would also like to bring to your attention that I have been hearing a lot of constructive feedback from people whom I believe does not appreciate your music. I do understand that not everyone will appreciate your stuff, but it doesn’t make you less as a musician.

I would also like to seize this once in a life time opportunity to inform you that I have tried to do a cover of one of your songs and have uploaded it on youtube. It is called CVSC Aysabaw Version 2, and I really did my best to give justice to your song. And it will be indeed a great pleasure for you to see it.

Please advise me whenever you decide to visit Cactus Fields for a gig and I will definitely be the first one to purchase tickets to your show and I am looking forward to seeing you soon.

Please see the attached picture which for me is the best photo of you.

For further inquiries, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Best Regards,

Alissa

miggy of chicosci