A spider is living on top of my fridge. I noticed its appearance lately.
I don’t know what makes it interesting for that spider to live on top of the fridge as there’s nothing there but a Tupperware, some snacks but still sealed and an unopened bottle of Nutella. So honestly, no good treat for him. Continue reading “The Resident Spider”
I took my stock of tissue paper from our store room, a plastic with 10 rolls in it. As I was walking my way to my room, I saw two guys walking towards me. I thought, what would happen if I smash this plastic of tissue rolls on their heads? Would it hurt? I imagined a scenario where I’m in trouble and I can use the plastic of tissue rolls as self defense. I guess it could save me, buy me time to run away from the suspect. Continue reading “Can Tissue Paper Save the Human Race?”
It was around six in the evening and we were driving along the North Luzon Express Way when a series of Dashboard Confessional played on the radio. The sun was almost setting. The fields were so green; the grains waiting to be harvested gave a golden touch to the greenery. The silhouette of the mountain ranges, dark grey, almost black and the clouds, puffy, painted with different shades of blue, orange, grey and pink. I rolled down the car window and let the warm afternoon breeze touch my face. Continue reading “Lucy and Flappy Bird”
Lately, I have not been writing a lot. Not that I am lazy. Not that I’m demotivated. Being busy is also not an excuse. I was just happy lately. And I am wondering why I can’t put into words this happy feeling. I’m wondering why I can write a lot even during my busiest of times when I feel bad or angry or sad but not when I’m happy. Continue reading “Random”
Yesterday, I’ve read an article called My Body Doesn’t Belong To You, where the author shared her story of being harassed on the road, probably because of her huge cup size. I suddenly remembered how I was teased back in 6th grade because of having very small boobs (something very opposite to the author’s issue). My male classmates would call me names like flat chested or airplane runway. I was so annoyed with them at that time and frustrated with my body specially my boobs for not growing up to the standard size. All my classmates were already wearing bras but I’m still using a ladies’ sando.
Later in life I realized how having small boobs is actually an advantage. Nothing jumps up and down when I run fast, people look into my eyes and not on my boobs when I talk, it’s easy to fit in clothes, I don’t attract any unwanted attention, I don’t get catcalled, I don’t get harassed. But that’s until I started being chased.
My first experience of this Catch Me If You Can game is when I was in Dubai, trying to cross a road. As there was no pedestrian lane, I was waiting for the cars to stop or disappear before I can cross the road. A car stopped in front of me. I thought he stopped because he was waiting for someone so I took several steps towards the rear of the car. He reversed until his front door is in front of me. His window was rolled down. He smiled and he motioned his head in a way that he’s calling me to get into his car. I ran and crossed the road regardless of how many cars were coming my way. I saw him sped up and took the u-turn to chase me. I ran and luckily found a small shop. I went inside. He parked his car outside the shop. I was walking around and around that small shop with only 2 back-to-back shelves trying to buy time. I felt like I was playing hide and seek but on this game, I don’t want to be found. After 15minutes his car was gone. I felt relieved. I waited for 10 more minutes before leaving the shop. As I stepped out of the shop, I saw his car about 10meters away from me. He found another girl to chase.
Once I was walking home from the metro station. I passed by a police car parked in front of a tea shop, the police men were having tea. I feel safe whenever I see them; it means nothing can happen as people in Dubai are scared of the police. But then just a few meters away from the police car, as I was walking I saw a car parked maybe 2 meters away from me. An old local guy was sitting on the driver’s seat, smiling at me with his crooked teeth. I ignored him and pretended that I didn’t see him. I turned left. His car followed me. I walked in a slow pace, took my phone and pretended to call someone. Then he left.
I was waiting for my shuttle service right in front of my office building when an old sports car stopped in front of me. I saw an Arab guy (but not a local), looking at me, and said Car Lift. (In Dubai, car lifts are private cars turned into taxi where people take during rush hour when taxis aren’t available). I said no. He asked in broken English, Where you go? I didn’t say anything and just walked towards the rear end of his car. He left after a few minutes. This scene happened in three consecutive days.
Once I was walking home, I heard someone shouting, Excuse me! Excuse me! I stopped as I thought it was a polite call, maybe I dropped something and someone wants to return it so I turned around. I saw an Indian guy, wearing an office attire, long sleeves and tie, running after me and when he stopped, he asked, Can I be your friend? I said but one word, No! I turned around, walked and took my phone. I glared back at him once more and checked if he was still following me but I was glad that he left.
One night, I was walking with a female friend. The streets were brightly lit up. I saw a car coming towards us, and I told her, this car will surely stop in front of us, as if I am already an expert in these kinds of experiences. She knew my Catch Me If You Can experiences and she can’t believe me as she has never experienced any so far. The car didn’t stop, it passed by us but it took a u-turn and it was behind us in no time. Inside the car was a local guy. He uttered something in Arabic which we didn’t understand. We continued walking and ignored him so he drove away. My friend said, this was my first experience of this kind of harassment but I’m sure he came for you, not for me. If I’m alone I wouldn’t have experienced that.
I thought about it. Maybe it’s not about the boobs anymore and I’m sure it’s not about my outfit. I always dress up modestly and if I’m not wearing office attire, I wear trashy clothes as I hate getting attention. I thought maybe it’s the nationality because some people in Dubai look down to others. So I asked 9 of my Filipina friends if they have experienced any such harassment but none of them did. So I’m the unlucky 1 out of 10 women and it’s not about the boobs, nor the outfit, nor the nationality. It’s about how they look at women in general.
So much for my experiences in Dubai and I’m glad that I moved here and for more than a year of living here in the Maldives, regardless of my cup size, my attire or my nationality, I only get chased by big yellow trigger fish and I definitely prefer that.
Today as I browse my facebook feed, I saw a post of a high school classmate about her lumpiang shanghai (spring rolls) with a status that goes along this line, it’s difficult to wrap a lumpia.
She used to be an Accountant in a big fast food chain till she got pregnant. From her pregnancy till date (her daughter must be 8 years old already), she is a stay at home mom / house wife.
Then I thought of my current dream. I want to be a housewife.
You may raise your left eyebrow and read what I have written once again but your eyes aren’t fooling you. You’ve read it right. My current dream is to be a housewife. You may ask, why?
For the longest time, women have been battling for their rights to work and to be leaders of companies, to be on top of the corporate ladder, etc., etc., and here I am, wanting to leave my hard earned profession to become a housewife.
But my question to myself now is, am I ready to be a housewife? And will I be a good one?
I was raised by a working mom. She’s out the whole day and by the time she comes home she’s already tired. She will choose the easy-to-cook-dishes for dinner. I’ve never heard of dishes such as Morcon and Sisig till I reached college and I’ve never seen her preparing any dish with cooking time that exceeds 20mins. Don’t even ask about home baked cakes or cupcakes. We don’t have an oven but more than that, she never had time.
I always envied my classmates and neighbors who’d get home made delicacies for merienda. For us, if we want to eat something, we have to buy it.
Leaving the food issues aside, I don’t know how my mom managed to do the other chores after a long day. Well, I have a share of chores since I am the eldest. I wash the dishes after our dinner while I would see her ironing our uniforms. I do the laundry, she does the ironing (later on, I started doing the ironing too). She has 4 kids plus my father to take care of too. At that time, I never really thought about how she must feel. Her legs must be sore at night and she must be so sleepy all the time because of her late nights and early mornings. And more than her physical condition, how about the mental and emotional aspect? To work while doing the chores and raising 4 kids and a husband is tough.
I can’t imagine how my mom will be if she is a stay at home mom/wife. Whenever she’s at home, she can’t stop doing things and after a day at home, she’s bored and she would want to go back to work the next day. I’m not sure if I will be the same.
I think of how I will be should I become a housewife. Am I ready to do all the cooking and cleaning stuff instead of reading emails and getting high blood pressure from annoying colleagues? Am I ready to be just receiving money from my husband instead of earning them by myself?
About the cooking thing, see, I am not a good cook. But my husband never complained about my cooking anyway (so far) even though, when we were together in Dubai, I always cooked sauteed (insert item here, ie veggies, pork, etc) in oyster sauce. I think I can learn this once I have time. (LOL, I had 4 years to learn how to cook in college but nothing happened, but that’s why I married a chef. And sometimes I blame my mom and our lifestyle for my non-interest in cooking).
About the cleaning and other stuff, well, I love ironing clothes. I iron even pajamas and sleeping clothes while singing so there shouldn’t be any problem on this part.
And about the earning part, I am a low maintenance person so I think I would be happy with whatever I receive.
I don’t really know how ready I am but somehow I feel excited for that time to come when I can just be at home, trying to bake cakes (and failing and blogging about it), watering plants in a small garden, sewing curtains and skirts and all that homely stuff.
As of now, I can only dream and be excited about it. Till then, I will hang on to where I am now, reading my emails, screaming at annoying colleagues (though I try so hard not to), reading your blogs and writing about my thoughts.