My Battle with the Corn on the Cob

A few days ago, I posted something about Meeting Travel Writers and Bloggers, hosting them for dinners and inventing stories to entertain them.

I have been receiving comments from my other colleagues here about my hosted dinners. They thought, I’m having the best of time while having dinner either by the beach or at the over water restaurant.

I just don’t answer any of the comments for they will never understand how I struggle and let me tell you why.

First of all, no matter how salivating the jumbo prawns are or how good the smell of the lobsters are while the chef grills them a few meters away from our table, I cannot eat as much as I could because I need to talk. A dinner usually takes almost two hours. Imagine how many stories do I have to invent to keep my guests entertained? Man, two bloody hours.

My second struggle – table manners.

Not that I am a cave woman. I can use silverware very well. However, really, I believe that grilled prawns, crabs and lobsters are best eaten with hands. But different people have different beliefs.

Setting aside the seafood greatness, there’s one battle that I had been losing for so long. My battle with the corn on the cob.

I really love corn, specially the sweet one and moreover when its grilled.

The thing is, on every beach BBQ dinner, I have to struggle at the sight of that yellow thing on one side of my plate.

Earlier in life, I was having dinner with a friend in an American diner. My eyes glowed at the sight of a corn on the cob. I ate it. Voraciously. I didn’t care about table manners. It’s corn we are talking about here.

Later that evening, I saw my friend wiping his face with the table napkin. There was an awkward silence.

If you eat corn on the cob, you’ll know what I mean.

From then on, I stopped eating corn, while on the cob. I always ask the chefs to remove the kernels from the cob before serving it to me.

However, lately I didn’t have much of a choice. I had to start dealing with this battle again.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting – said Sun Tzu in the Art of War, and this has nothing much to do with my battle with the corn.

I had three barbecue dinners last week and the struggle was real. But I learned my lesson well. I had to.

The first BBQ dinner was with two British guys. We were talking and laughing so hard that I didn’t notice how they ate the corn. I thought of leaving the corn untouched but I can’t help myself so I took small bites. Small enough not to drizzle disgrace. But I wasn’t able to eat all the corn. I was sad. It got wasted.

The second BBQ dinner was with a group of British girls and guys. I was sitting next to a very pretty blonde lady and this time, I was really on guard. I was talking and laughing but I was also listening. I heard her when she said – in the loveliest British accent, Oh I really love corn but it’s gonna stick on my teeth. Please just get me some toothpicks afterwards.

They all laughed. She ate the corn. I did too.  Heaven is good. The battle is won.

The third and last BBQ dinner was with two French gentlemen, and boy oh boy, their table manners – impeccably refined.

I ate slowly. I waited for them to advance. They did. Never have I seen the silverware used to the fullest with utmost finesse. I looked at them and imitated their ways as much as I could.

They removed the kernels from the cob with grace, and so did I.

Never have I been finesse than that night.

I guess I won the 2nd and 3rd battle, and I think I am very well prepared with all the upcoming ones.

And before I end this post, I’d like to leave you something from the Art of War once more – If you know the enemy and know yourself, your victory will not stand in doubt; if you know Heaven and know Earth, you may make your victory complete – and this has nothing to do once again with my battle with the corn on the cob.

corn-2
Yours Truly – The Girl Who Loves Corn on the Cob

 

Hello Summer!

Hindi lang tayo sa pag-ibig nagiging tanga.

Minsan sa pag-order din ng kape.

Nagpunta kami kagabi sa paborito naming kapehan sa may Al Rigga. Yung Caribou Coffee. Madalas kasi tahimik do’n. Nakakarelax. Pero kagabi andaming tao at medyo maingay. Pero sabi ko ok lang, parang andami namang nakatambay na gwapo. (Landi level 99).

Apat kaming magkakasama kagabi. Yung dalawang guys, pumwesto na sa sofa. Kaming dalawang girls, pumila na sa counter para umorder.

Madalas na inoorder ko sa mga kapehan ay yung cafe mocha lang o kaya ay yung malamig na counter part nito. Pero kagabi, sabi nung isang kasama ko, ‘anu yang Hello Summer na ‘yan?’ Siya yung tropa namin na mahilig tumikim ng mga flavors of the month.¬†Kung ano yung bago or yung special ay yun ang inoorder niya.

 

Tiningnan ko din yung poster. Mukhang ok naman kaya sabi ko sige yang na lang. Yung Hello Summer na lang orderin natin ha? Inulit-ulit ko pa habang nakapila. Bale tatlong Hello Summer na yung oorderin natin. Tumango naman yung dalawang senyoritong nakaupo.

Ikaw? tanong ko sa kasama kong nakapila.

Mint Condition Mocha yung sa’kin, sabi¬†niya.

Habang nakapila kami, panay ang sulyap nung dalawang poging kuya na nasa unahan ng pila habang nag-aantay sila ng sukli. Feeling ko naman, kagandahan ko yung tinitingnan nila. (GGSS level 99).

Usually pag nagfefeeling ako, may kabulastugang nangyayari afterwards.

Nung oorder na kami, sabi ko kay Kuya Cashier, isa nga pong Mint Condition Mocha na small saka tatlong Hello Summer na Medium yung isa walang whipped cream.

Nagulat si Kuya Cashier at biglang napalingon sa menu nilang nasa may bandang ulunan niya.

Nung makita ko yung reaction niya, naramdaman kong may mali sa inorder ko. Nagmadali akong tingnan yung poster ng Hello Summer. Ay eto pala ‘tong tiramisu drink na ‘to. Ano ba to? Bakit kasi mas malaki yung nakasulat na Hello Summer na ‘to? Magcocomplain ako sa managament niyo nito eh. Sabay tumawa ako ng malakas para pagtakpan ang aking¬†nawalang dignidad.

Kala ko ma’am may bago kaming drinks na hindi ko nalalaman eh. Sagot naman sa’kin ni Kuya Cashier habang natatawa at nagkakamot ng ulo.

At infairness naman sa kaniya, nagtry pa siya mag-upsell. Ma’am eh sandwhich or cookies? Eto oh baka gusto niyo, Hello Summer na sandwich ‘to, sabay turo sa poster na maliit na nasa harap ko.

Ayun may katandem palang sandwich yung Hello Summer tiramisu drink ko.

 

Pag upo namin ay nagtawanan kaming apat sa panibagong bloopers na ginawa ko. Pero hindi ko naman talaga sinasadya. Kaya pala panay ang sulyap nung dalawang poging kuya sa pila ay naririnig nila yung kakaHello Summer ko. Akala ko pa naman ay naaakit na sila sa taglay kong alindog pero mali pala.

Kaya talagang napagtanto kong hindi lang tayo sa pag-ibig nagiging tanga.

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Ilang araw ng naglalaro sa isip ko ang quote na inimbento ko

Live a life worth writing. 

It will be worth reading.

Naks ah! Pero lately puro yata bloopers ang nangyayari sa’kin. Hindi ko sinasadyang maging katatawanan talaga sa totoong buhay. Dito lang dapat sa blog yun eh.

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Naisip ko lang, dapat bayaran ako dito ng Caribou Coffee dahil inaadvertise ko sila at the expense of my dignity. LOL. Kahit isang pares lang ng Hello Summer na tiramisu coffee at sandwich.

Saktong sakto ako sa tanong nilang “Every Summer has a story, What’s yours?” #MyBouStory

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Sumakit ang ulo ko kakaisip sa katangahang nagawa ko kaya heto na nga lang ang isang kanta pampalubag loob. (Feeling DJ level 99)

Life is Wonderful by Jason Mraz

It takes some silence to make sound
And it takes a loss before you found it
And it takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to show you care
It takes a hole to see the mountain

video: msy2e

Kuya! Kuya! Part 2

Kuya! Kuya!

Na drayber ng bus

Wag na magsakay pa

Puno na eh! Ungas!

Wala na ngang maupuan,

Wala pang matayuan!

 

Kuya! Kuya!

Na nasa’king tagiliran

Pwede ba? pwede ba?

Braso mo’y wag ilagpas

Sinisiko na nga kita

Di mo ba nadarama?

 

 

Kuya! Kuya!

Na nasa’king likuran

Feel na feel mo ba

Pag nagkakatulakan?

Dikit ka ng dikit

Ako ba ay pandikit?

 

Kuya! Kuya!

Indiano ka ba o taga Africa?

Pilit kitang inaaninagan sa salamin

Dahil ayaw na kitang lingunin

Di pa kita nakikita

Nakakapangilabot na

 

Kuya! Kuya!

Katawan mo’y wag nang idikit pa

Likod kong di nga pinagpawisan

Baka biglang mangamoy pa

Pabango mo ba’y sibuyas

O ginger at masala?

 

Kuya! Kuya!

Na drayber ng bus

Wag kang pumreno ng bigla please

Si Kuya sa likod ko di ko na matiis

Baka later ako ay maging beast

Tamaan to sa’kin,¬†ng matulis¬†na heels!

 

Ate! Ate!

Help me naman!

Baka pwedeng umusog

Kahit konti lang

Itong kasing aking likuran

Parang medyo nahaharass na!

 

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Kuya! Kuya! Part 1

Kuya! Kuya!

Kuya! Kuya!

Wag ka nang sumiksik pa!

Hindi mo ba nakikita?

Ang tren ay puno na!

 

Kuya! Kuya!

Pwede ba umusod ka!

Hindi na ko makahinga

Ang sikip sikip na!

 

Kuya! Kuya!

Wag ka na lumapit pa

Di ako makahinga

Dahil sa iyong hininga

 

Kuya! Kuya!

Bawang at sibuyas, namapak ka ba?

Umulan naman kahapon,

Naligo ka ba?

 

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ok lang sanang sikisikan sa tren, wag lang ang sumiksik sa iyo ay….