It was a day before the full moon. Coral tops were like pearls on display in a jewelry store as the tide went low. Bunches of seagrass were washed ashore.
I went for a swim and didn’t anticipate the force of the current and the merciless waves.
Four years ago, I learned how to swim long distances from a colleague. I was scared of foamy waves crashing into the shores. I had thoughts like I might be taken away by waves out into the open sea, and that I won’t be able to come back anymore. Such stories I heard from different people. But that colleague of mine told me, ‘don’t be scared. These waves will always bring you back to the shore. That’s why you see garbage in our beach every morning.’
That statement gave me the courage to swim far and long, and into the deep; rain or shine, stormy or calm. I kept swimming.
However, on that particular day before the full moon, my fearless heart with courage as big as the waves was shaken. Strong waves took me back and forth, back and forth. I was so afraid I might hit the corals.
The waves thrust me rightward while the strong undercurrent pushed me backward. The poor little me in the aqua universe was beaten badly. The current and the waves that day seemed confused, they didn’t know whether they’d throw me rightward or backward. At that point, I was thinking to go back. But in life, there will always be a time when you know there is no point of retreat. That no matter how troubled (or in trouble) you are, the only way is to move forward no matter how difficult it is (because you’ll get into even more trouble if you go back). And so my battered body kept moving forward, fighting the current and the waves. Slowly. Firmly.
That I was regarded here as a very strong swimmer, my confidence swelled like big waves in the open ocean that I forgot, at times, how small a being I was in that deep blue universe. A tiny entity, a speck of dust amidst a million stars, like seagrass or garbage, washed ashore before the break of dawn.
It was a day before the full moon. My body was battered, my heart, shaken. I found myself along a bunch of seagrasses as I retreated into the shore. I was once again, humbled.
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