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I went out of my room wearing my black rash guard and my old blue swimming shorts heading out for my afternoon swim.

Two colleagues were sitting by the smoking area and one of them told me that I need to buy bigger swimming clothes.

I said, ‘yes I know I am too fat.’ Then I walked to the beach.

I went into the water not expecting to see anything new. The visibility of the water has been very bad lately. It was so milky, it’s like tons of flour was thrown into the water. You can’t even see a fish until its right into your face.

I went into the deep and after a few laps away from the murky shallow, I was surprised at the clarity of the water. 10 meters visibility. Crystal. Crisp. Undeniably clear. The colors where cleanly blue. Light blue to deep dark blue without any flour like particles coming in between. I felt like swimming inside an aquarium. There were tons of fish. And I saw after the longest time a lot of sharks; big fat black tips, nurse sharks in very strange sleeping positions and shy white tips. I saw two turtles nibbling snacks together at around 6 meters deep; a hawks bill and a green sea turtle and another turtle somewhere in the shallow, about 6 meters away from me. And then came an eagle ray swimming slowly, its fins moved like wings. It was like flying underwater, slowly, enjoying its time until it saw a human being approaching. It accelerated into the unknown. And then I saw two bat fish lingering around an oval coral that looks like a pimple, protruding on the face of the corals. I’ve never seen bat fish hanging around the area, so this was something new. And something beautiful.

I’ve completed my swim, a full round of the island. But I decided to do another round. Because it was beautiful. And because I felt fat. I went for two rounds nonstop, that’s two kilometers, even though I know I won’t lose weight after doing that.

I went back to my room, exhausted after two rounds of swim and looked at the mirror. My fat tummy bulging out from the tight fit rash guard I was wearing. But I thought rash guards are supposed to be fit so why should I buy a bigger one? I looked at myself on the mirror for a good five minutes, touching those soft belly bulges thinking of what to do with it and then I took a shower.

I went for dinner and tried not to take so much of rice. I don’t usually get shaken with what other people say but that time I really was. Sometimes people throw out words lightly or as a joke not knowing the effect they do to other people.

I thought of the black market, the shop just below my room that sells Fudge Bar, chips, instant noodles and Magnum and realized it was the culprit to the unmysterious belly bulge. I can’t stop visiting it when I’m hungry or when I just want to have snacks while reading or watching or when I just want to go for window shopping to check what’s in stock even though I already know. This is the closest to shopping that I can get since I got stuck here for 5 months, so I’m letting myself indulge in this tad bit of guilty pleasure.

I wore a loose black shirt that night so I won’t see any bulge. So that no one will see any bulge. After dinner, I went to the black market and bought a Magnum. The classic one. Without almonds. I sat on the black bench of the smoking area just outside the black market and allowed myself to have a little bit of a good time.