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After a year of being a Sales Coordinator, I was asked by the previous Corporate Head of the Sales Team if I would like to be promoted as a Sales Executive.  I politely declined telling him that I am more interested in a position related to PR, Marketing and E Commerce and he frankly replied to me saying that these positions will only be Head Office based so I won’t get this chance and I could just stay where I am, in the island, since I don’t want to get the promotion that he offered.

Just a few months after he said that the positions I was aiming at will only be based in the head office, they hired a PR & Marcomms Executive to be based in the island. Great.

A little over a year passed, things have changed and so were my tasks and here again the position was offered, Assistant Sales Manager. I was really hesitant but I felt like being pushed and so I just said yes and took it. There’s no harm in getting a few more dollars in my bank account anyway.

But after a year in this role while doing a bit of marketing on the side, I had to fill in my career plan on the year end performance appraisal. And here I am, expressing my interest again in PR & Marketing. And I feel that this time, my current boss will possibly give me what I want. What I really wanted.

But the fact that I know I might get it scares me.  I don’t have the real background for this position, things like graphic designing, proper photo editing, etc., are skills I am not trained for.

It will be a dream job for me to be able to think and be creative and write contents and focus on social media, telling stories to the press rather than being out meeting clients, asking them for business and meeting my monthly sales target.

I have been thinking lately about this. There’s a difference between being good for the position and just wanting to be in that position. And I feel that I am just the latter. I now started doubting myself. What if I won’t perform well this time?

I will try my best anyway and see what will happen. If things won’t work, then maybe it’s time to go home for good.