Hello There!

It is 23:54 already and my husband is now fast asleep.

I sit here beside him, wide awake, reading Modern Love and catching up on some of your posts, my only literary activity since… I don’t know when.

I’ve been home for few days now, and I did nothing but sleep and eat (and buy lipsticks HAHA). I’ve spent more time sleeping than being awake. The past two months of my working life had been very tiring, physically and mentally.

I got a promotion, yehey! But I am not sure how happy I am with this as the pressure escalated overnight.

Again, I am like a soldier on the front line, unprepared for the war. I can’t remember if I have mentioned already on any of my previous posts but anyway, I am still wondering why I am always pushed to a certain job or title that I have no interest in nor skills to do such. Not that I don’t trust myself or I cannot perform otherwise, why would they promote me right? But this has always happened to me. I’m like always close to getting the job that I really want to do most but getting something else instead.

I am thankful, yes, very much for the promotion but then I keep asking myself why am I here.

Do you know how difficult it is to be in sales when you don’t even want to talk to people? When you only want to be in an office, quietly thinking, creating stuff, writing and so on.

Do you know how awkward it is to knock into an office, introduce yourself to the owners or managers of the company and talk about business, present your company and ask for more business. I mean, seriously? I even feel shy to ask a waiter to bring toothpicks and here I am, asking for business. Sounds like a joke right?

In one of my previous IG stories, I’ve posted something along like ‘I am selling encyclopedias today.’ People of my age (LOL), can you remember sales people knocking on your door, in long sleeves and ties, selling encyclopedia?

Imagine yourself selling encyclopedia. Can you?

Imagine me doing it. I cannot (but I try to, anyway).

Sometimes during the meetings, there will be awkward silence whenever I run out of things to say or questions to ask.

And the worst part is, I have to be this nice, smiley, patient pretty lady that I am really not. To be honest, my face is like an emoji. It changes according to how I feel at the moment. I cannot hide what I feel as it immediately shows on my face. And I have to practice, using a poker face with a fake smile.

There’s something even worse. Some guys think I am selling myself and not the resort. I started receiving funny messages from some guys. Some are offensive. Something like ‘when are you visiting our office again? I wanna see your pretty face.’ But I cannot answer them rudely. I cannot just cut them off brutally by saying ‘fuck off you dirty idiot.’ I can only go as much as ‘please stop sending me these messages’ or at the most, ignore.

The past two months has been crazy but I have learned a lot in a short span of time. I still haven’t managed to learn how to wear that poker face though.

I thought I wanna write a reflective year end post. But it didn’t go as planned. As usual. Oh well.

7 responses to “Hello There!”

  1. I can relate with being shy to call waiters and wearing your heart on your sleeve. Yung pag di mo feel ang obvious talaga sa face. Also ugh isn’t it awful how women still have to face those uncomfortable situations in this century? Anyway, I hope you will get the job you’re interested in in the near future and for the meantime, congratulations with the promotion!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. Ewan bakit ako nalalagay sa mga ganitong sitwasyon.

      At yung iba nakakaabastos talaga. Kung di ko lang talaga kailangan ng business baka pinagsasampal ko pa sila huhu.
      Salamat sa suporta. Aja!


  2. Dapat ba kitang i-congratulate sa promotion? Sa tingin ko kaya ka pnpromote kasi nakikita nila yung hardwork mo and your amazing work ethics. 🙂 And for me that’s good! Yun lang talaga on the flipside, minsan nagtataka ka din bakit mo nga ba ginagawa yun eh complete opposite yung ugali mo. (relate ako kasi ganyan din ako hehe). Sana mahanap mo yung dream job mo soon or at least makita mo yung silver lining sa work mo ngayon kahit na may mga bastos na manyak sa paligid mo. Happy New Year, Aysa! Kahit hindi tayo magkikita sa paguwi mo thank you sa pagiging part ng 2018 ko! More power and God bless you 🙂


    1. Ha ha. Dapat nga ba ako icongratulate? Nakakalito. Anyway baka ito talaga ang destiny ko. LOL. Kaya nga, ayaw ko na talaga magplano haha at iba naman ang nangyayari LOL.

      Happy New Year din Kat. Magkikita din tayo haha tiwala lang 🤣🤣🤣🤣 God Bless

      Liked by 1 person

  3. True! Yan din sabi ko bahala na life basta may source of happiness keri na yan! 🙂

    Mag meet up ba kayo????


    1. Haha…walang plano..balak ko magpahinga lang this trip….pagodabells talaga ako…ilang araw na akong puro tulog lang 🤣🤣🤣🤣 isang araw pa lang ako lumabas para bumili ng lipstick hahahahaha

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Go lang! Rest lang!! Pag May plano kayo message mo ko ah! 🙂 pahingaaaa lang girl sarap din ng panahon malamig 😛


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