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Today is my 5th day without any caffeine intake.

Five days ago, my friend and I wanted to practice free diving hence I did not drink coffee. Coffee is not allowed when free diving.

That morning I was walking like a zombie. Yawning every few minutes. No energy. My eyes, teary. Dizzy. By afternoon, I already felt the impending headache.

I wasn’t able to practice properly because I wasn’t feeling good.

By evening, I had two take two pills for headache.

I decided then not to drink coffee anymore because it is very difficult to part ways with it when I need to.

The second day was  the same. I cannot work properly and I only want to sleep. I was dying to have my lunch break so I can take a nap.

I just wanted to sleep the whole time. So I slept after lunch. I slept while at the staff ferry too. Everyone was making fun of me asking why I was so tired. They asked if I snorkeled the whole day for me to be that tired. I wanted to explain myself but that wouldn’t help and nobody will understand what I was going through anyway.

Nobody will really understand.

Whenever I feel sleepy, I always want to go to the canteen and click that button on the coffee machine.

But I try not to give in to what my brain tells me: JUST ONE BLOODY CUP AND YOU WILL BE FINE!

I think my reliance to coffee is already bad because I am at a point where I feel I can’t work or think without drinking coffee first.

I try to replace it with hot chocolate instead but I don’t get the kick that I need to be fully operational.

Change is really difficult but I just need to do this as I can’t keep on relying to caffeine. It’s all in the mind, maybe. Or it’s all in the caffeine.

Friends, please don’t send me instagrammable coffee photos.