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April 29

I write this, feeling a bit sad. I look at the window and see the grey clouds covering the sky. No sunset. Waiting for the rain to pour.

I sit, thinking of what to write. Of how I’m going to recap my April  and how I’m going welcome May. I try to remember what happened for the last 30 days.

I was busy at work but I had a short trip home. Short as it was, it was busy too.

April felt so short. So short for all the things that happened. It was eventful. But quite a mix. There was happiness and then there was confusion and also some madness. It was a hot month but with some short cold showers, literally and figuratively.

I kept reminding myself about my New Year’s Resolution and sorry to keep reminding you too. I only want to be happy and at peace all the time. But no matter how I tried to, something just goes wrong.

May 3

My island life is just becoming monotonous, really. But I honestly like it the way it is. Sometimes, I don’t even feel like welcoming change anymore. But some strong universal force just comes and does the change whether I like it or not. These forces arrive without warning and although overnight change is difficult, sometimes, I just have to. Like one day, someone is my friend, the next day, she isn’t anymore because she nearly destroyed my life. Forget about island life or work life. She nearly destroyed my entire (personal) life. She attacked just like how Ursula can attack Ariel (laugh if you got the joke) but on a serious mode, she did attack me.

Sometimes I feel like somebody is playing a prank on me and I wait for the day when the prank and prankers (is this even a word?) are gone. Life is unbelievable. Wait. No. Human beings are unbelievable. That’s the reason why dinosaurs left the world before the human race colonized it. Jokes aside, this will be the last time I’m gonna write about this ex friend. And the last time, I’ll mention her verbally or in writing (I’ll try to).

And so,  like this, the month has passed and a new one has started. And while everybody else is lining up to watch Infinity War (jealous person here), I’m here trying to handle this war waged by universe. A war where everybody tries not to move. As when one does, she opens herself to a world of vulnerability, where in the silence, we wait until someone says, check mate.