Random

aysabaw

Lately, I have not been writing a lot. Not that I am lazy. Not that I’m demotivated. Being busy is also not an excuse. I was just happy lately. And I am wondering why I can’t put into words this happy feeling. I’m wondering why I can write a lot even during my busiest of times when I feel bad or angry or sad but not when I’m happy.

Maybe because when I am happy, all I can say is thank you for the wonderful day. Maybe because when I’m happy, I just want to run and jump and sing all day long and I just want to keep the feeling with me. And maybe because when I’m happy, I don’t ask myself why I’m happy.

But when I’m broken, I ask myself so many things. What I did or did not do? What did I say or did not say? Why am I feeling this way? How did I end up like this? And when I ask myself, I try to find answers. And when I find out that the root cause of all the troubles is no one else but myself, I try to justify and so the story goes on. And the letters flow like water on a stream.

Also this happy feeling is welcomed by everyone. Like a laugh that is contagious. It is easy to share and every one enjoys it. It is like a legendary story that every kid in town wants to listen to.

While sadness is a feeling that no one wants to feel. It is like a person with disease that everyone avoids. It is a story that no one likes to hear. And during this time, the only way to say what I couldn’t say, is to write. The only way to tell my stories that no one bothers to listen to is to write them.

For a change, I am asking myself now why am I happy? What I did or did not do? What did I say or did not say? Why am I feeling this way? How did I end up like this?

And these are what made me happy lately:

  • We went to a nearby island for a dinner in one of our colleague’s house and while waiting for our transportation back to our island I had fun riding a scooter and that was my very first ride ever in my life. I may sound ridiculous but yes, in my 32 years of existence, I have never ridden a scooter nor a motorbike till that night. Of course, I didn’t drive it. I was just a back rider, if that’s how you call it.
  • I was able to do a 1km swim for the very first time.
  • I am re-watching Daddy Long Legs and every episode puts a smile (sometimes tears too) on my face.

Image result for judy abbott

To be honest, I don’t know what else made me happy. I took me several minutes to think about my reasons for being happy but I only came up with three.

I don’t know what else to write now nor how to end this. I don’t know if I’m making any sense either. But anyway, like I have said in one of my previous posts, in case you are sad or down today, please feel free to borrow some of my happiness.

Published by aysabaw

Hi there! My name is Aysa! I am currently based in the Maldives, a free diver, a frustrated artist and writer and a lover of palm trees and ocean breeze.

42 Comments

      1. May mga tao talagang ganun. Yung creativity and other ideas lumalabas lang kapag malungkot sila.

        I remember nung ininterview dati si Yeng Constantino, sabi nya nahirapan daw sya gawin yung last album nya kase wala daw syang maisulat na kanta kase nga masaya sya. Ikakasal na kase sya nun, kaya ayun happy sya lagi. Kapag malungkot lang daw sya nakakapagsulat ng kanta.

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  4. Ate. Feel kita dito. Parang ang dami-dami mong pwedeng isulat kapag malungkot ka. Ang daming words. Pero pag masaya ka parang gusto mo nalang na i-soak it all up and ienjoy yung moment. Haha. Pero it’s a very welcomed feeling. I’m happy for you po 😊😊😊

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  5. Yahoooooo!!! Waaaaaaahahahaha!!! Daddy Long Legs makes me happy toooooo!!!! Judy Abott! Jervis Pendleton!! Hahahaha! Ang sarap maging masaya! Kaya wala din ako maisulat! Nakigaya! Hahahaaha! Bakit puro exclamation!!!? Hahahahaha! Ako talaga si Judy Abubott! at ikaw si Sallie! Hahahaha!

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  6. Judy Abott! Parang gusto ko din ulit ito panoorin ah! 😊 I’m glad you’re happy, aysa! Bigla akong napaisip kung may ganyang moment ako. Mukhang totoo nga na mas madaming words and ideas pag sad. Haha. Naalala ko naka-isang tula ako nung inlababo. Tapos tatlong tula nung heartbroken. Bwahaha.

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    1. Hahahahaha halata ang edad natin dahil kay Judy Abott. Panoorin mo uli. Lakas makabata hahahaha… isa ka pala sa mga naging masaya ang childhood dahil kay Judy hahaha di tulad nung iba jan na di kilala si Judy (ehem Space)

      So ganyan pala talaga…pag masaya di nakakapagsulat…birds of the same feather 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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      1. Haha. Inspired ako diyan kay Daddy Long Legs eh. Gusto kong maging woman version niya. Pero not to the point na maiinlab ako sa Judy Abott boy version. Hahaha

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  10. You’ll find a way to write when you’re happy and when you’re not. Those might be different things you write about, but they will be part of you no matter what. 😊 here is to happiness 👊🏼

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  11. I think you are happy, because might be subconsciously or consciously you able to surpass a hurdle which was like a mountain for you. Like riding the scooter, and at the same time watching something which has a good memory for you made you went back to old times.

    Swimming that much, is another way to prove yourself I can pass hurdles which I deemed difficult or impossible or requires considerable amount of determination.

    But since you pass the hurdles you felt content, that feeling of content made you happy and blessed and makes you identify yourself which we normally undermine ourselves.

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