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Today I woke up earlier than usual. I heavily rely on my alarm so today was quite a surprise. I woke up 45 minutes earlier than the set time.

I checked my phone and saw two Happy Birthday messages. A message from my husband on facebook and a text message from my father. I replied to husband, Happy Birthday too, since our birthday falls on the same day. I wanted to reply to my father to say thank you, only to remember that I don’t have balance for even a text message. Just great.

I closed my eyes again and felt a sudden pain on my nose like when you want to sneeze but get’s halted or like when your sinusitis kicks in. A few tears rolled down, wetting my pillow. I asked my self if the clouds also feel that way before the rain pours, that’s if they even feel a thing.

I got up and opened the window only to see darkness. It’s been raining for the last few days and I can’t remember when was the last time I have seen the sun.

I did my daily morning routine and thought about the things that the husband and I could have done on this day if only we were together. We could have cooked pancit or pasta or maybe we could have dined out. We could have dined privately or with friends or with family. We could have gone to the arcades and played basketball or we could have gone to a cosy cafe for coffees and dessert. But none of these could happen because we are apart, on our birthdays, for the very first time since we’ve been together and hopefully this will be the last.

I’ve always been away from home during my birthday ever since I started working abroad so I’m kinda used to it. I used to get greetings from my mom via text message and from my siblings through facebook. I never received any message from my father so I was surprised to get one today, but not surprised not to get any message from my mom and siblings.

It’s not that they forgot my birthday as in the family, three of us are celebrating birthdays on October and often times we celebrate it all together. But I recently had a rift with my mother, the first time since my teenage years because see,  I’m a very obedient child. But I guess being obedient is not enough.

My sibs, they must be very busy with their lives to get time to send even an abbreviated, rushed greeting.

Birthdays are suppose to be happy days and are usually celebrated but mine today is quite ordinary and glum and even emotional.

And as my morning routine was about to be over, I thought of putting on the reddest lipstick that I have. Because on this ordinary, gloomy day, nothing else could make me feel special than waking up to two birthday greetings and applying the reddest lipstick on.

*featured image by Valencia Pierre on tmblr