Swimming in the Depths

aysabaw

I swim everyday.

At 6pm sharp I’m out of the office and I would be seen heading off to the shore.

I swim everyday as long as the weather permits. I swim to be healthy. I swim because it is my only form of exercise and I’m not interested in going to the gym.

But today, my objective is quite different. I’ll swim to see the world underneath because for now, I prefer seeing it than the world above it.

I’m drowning with tasks each day and I really don’t know anymore how I would  be able to handle all of it. The whole world normally works 5 to 6 days a week while I work 7 days a week but I still can’t finish all my tasks. Not that I’m incompetent, I don’t believe so. I just can’t handle the amount of work that is usually  done by 2 to 3 persons.

I’m usually organized at work but lately, I was just in a mess, to the point that I have to write down a schedule of the things that I need to do at a particular time and a particular day. And I have to follow the timings strictly because I can’t complete my tasks if I won’t follow it.

I was happy that one by one I was able to complete my tasks though I missed some of the deadlines. But as  days went by, I started getting stressed because the amount of work that comes to me each day doesn’t fit my 8am to 6pm shift anymore.

I started coming back to the office after dinner and stayed until 10 to 11 pm to try to extend my working hours but it still isn’t enough. Can I have 48 hours in a day? Of course not.

After patting myself on the back for completing a task (because no one else does), there lies about a hundred of unread emails on my inbox. How does that sound? I felt like a hamster running endlessly on a wheel.

I asked for help and I said, ‘I can’t cope up anymore’ which I don’t usually do. And the only answer that I got is “Welcome to the club.” I asked if that one person who kept on following up for a document can do it by himself rather than pestering me, and the answer that I got is, “all these should come from you – let me know if its feasible.”

At that point, I felt like I just wanted to break the screen in front of me. And at that point, I asked myself if this job is worthy of my time.

“Choose a job you don’t need a vacation from,” said so many.

“I am currently in a job I don’t need a vacation from,” said nobody I knew.

Today I swam as far as I could and as I got tired, I let myself float with my face up, looking at the still bright blue sky, the rays of the late afternoon sun kissing my cheeks. As the waves gently pushed me to where they wanted me to be, I whispered and hoped that somehow the waves will also take my worries away from me and push them wherever they want them to be.

Published by aysabaw

Hi there! My name is Aysa! I am currently based in the Maldives, a free diver, a frustrated artist and writer and a lover of palm trees and ocean breeze.

37 Comments

  3. Isang mahigpit na mahigpit na yakap, Aysah! Alam kong hindi naman tayo magkaibigan at tiyak ko ring hindi ko pa nararanasan ang pagod at (marahil ay) sama ng loob na dinaranas mo ngayon, pero yakap pa rin! Sana makaahon ka! 😦

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. It wasn’t like this earlier. You know its tough to have a head office with people sitting in a nice office trying to invent things in their heads just to say they are doing something and then passes on the tasks to the properties thinking we don’t have anything to do here but to wait for them to give us something to do.

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